I remember when I asked to kiss her, it felt like I was meant to ask, even though it took me 20 minutes to do it. I guess she wanted me to just do it and maybe asking was like killing the surprise of it all. After our giggle she still said yes and that was like a "lights-camera-action" announcement being shouted. The giggle went from our faces and folded into that waiting for a kiss look. The heat built up in my head, my face, as I inched in and my heart was already ready to burst.
The anxiety must have heated us both up because as our lips parted just slightly, the heat turned our lips into such a soft texture that we just melted right into a deep kiss. Tongues hot from the the inside out, both aching with desire and passionately moving literally slowed time. We locked together that day, emotionally from fusing and melting together. The heat still on my mind even to this day even though we've had many more since then and even though we are now just a story to each other's friends, if anything at all. But I walk down that road every now and then in my head and I let my mind take that "what if" pill. I go back to the edge and I envision her standing in front of me just staring at me with that silent smile. I feel my brain and tongue get hot again and my breathing changes a little while she stands there.
I'm not sure how far things would have gotten because even in real life weren't really meant to be so this image of her at the edge smiling at me seems to be just perfect. Maybe that's all she was supposed to be to me, a face to look at to remember how good things can be and that real love is out there to be found. Until then I will take these mind trips to go see her standing there, smiling, waiting for me bundled up in the early evening cold air, wavy black hair over her eyes...and remember my hot tongue kiss.
laye jaye
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