Things That Come

11pm.
Dark fingers with steely hair reach up.  
Tap tap tap, black finger nails strike the window.
"come out come out, its time to play, we missed you."
The taps on the window echo in the dark room somehow in slow motion.  They reach his ears and his eyes open.  A heavy sigh instead of a sleepy exhale.  No sleep tonight...again.
"We are here for you to pay us with your dreams, pay us for all the wicked and evil things you have done...yes...yes."
As he sits up he can now see through the window where the taps came from and behind the hand still on the glass he could see a group of black misfigured demons nodding their heads.  Nodding to a rhythm he can't follow.  
"Ah there you are, come with us, it is time, we are here to feed on you because you deserve no sleep wicked one''  and with the dark night sky behind them, they start to dance. Their ugly bodies moving to a silent song beyond the glass.  He sits and stares almost hypnotized but not quite. They dance to put him in a trance so they can replace his thoughts and turn his vision inside to make him watch reels of thoughts, thoughts of all those he hurt.  But tonight they show him more than what he did, they show him what happened to them after.  He sat there in this captive state, his body their hostage while they torture him with their pain.
An ery voice whisper in, "wicked must see what wicked do, you wicked but you do not see wicked man, but we are here to take payment for your wickedness, you will not sleep, you will not be happy, we will come every night and take from you what you take from them" 
Hours pass with the man sitting up in this trance, watching their pain become his nightmares, over and over and over again.  They dance, dark ugly shadows of demons right outside the window, prancing in their dream conjuring, feeding the pain of those he hurt while stealing his happiness.
The dark blue night gets tipped with orange and they stop dancing and vanish.  His body falls back to bed dazed and tired. Only one hour to sleep before the alarm goes off in an hour. Tonight, they will be back.

I Need To Be Super Human

I need to be super human
For her gaze will weaken your knees and you will fall.

I need to be super human
For her touch will light your skin ablaze and burn a passion in your mind you could never imagine.

I need to be Superhuman
For her kiss will rip you from this earth and transport you to another galaxy.

I need to be super human
For her words of love will drown you in an abyss of delight that you will never be normal again.

I need to be superhuman
For every man before me was never strong enough to give her the love she needs.

I need to be super human
For my days loving her will be only to lift her up as my queen.

I need to be super human 
For the nightmares of her past pain comes like a dragon and my hugs need to be the shield that rocks her back to sleep.

I need to be super human
Because I cannot give her one lifetime when she offers forever.

I need to be super human
For my love will burst my chest if I never get the chance to love her.

I need to be super human
For if she walks away I could never live.

Shelia

My mother was treated inferior
But she still didn't become wayward

My mother didn't throw away her life because she was thrown away.

My mother's life was hard
But we were treated like royalty

My mother was raised where the only lesson was that life was hard and no one cares
But she says my room is always here, no matter how hard my own life gets

My mother was forced to go to school barefoot
But we always had more than we needed

My mother was shown hatred and neglect
But she has shown us nothing but tolerance and support

My mother could have given up on hope
But when I'm lost, she always knows what to say.

My mother had to hide to study and was still held from taking exams
But when we needed something for school, the world had to wait till she made it happen. 

The darkness they beat into her back
She chipped away with her little light

Every hit was a hammer's blow to the iron that made her sword.
Instead of breaking her, it made her strong, stronger than any woman I know.

That strength, she passed on to us.
The hope stolen from her, she gave back to us in her words.

We now know how to love because she wasn't loved
This woman was never broken down by her past, she was built up by it.

My mother is the Barefoot Queen, hunter of Love and gatherer of peace
We are the presentation of what she never had and we stand proud in her fight, her will her love.

All hail my Queen, my mother.
Her name is Shelia.

My Gravity

That inexplicable gravitational pull. It's not love or choice...it exists beyond your permission, does without asking and ages not, over time space or separation. Fighting it is pointless as its torment is relentless. Obey it like a leaf to the wind and feel its magnitude take over your insides like 2 planets in a slow collide. That is you to me and me to you. It exists for us and we will listen to its inaudible commands. 
Give me you and take my soul. Us is ours.

Don't Call

There's that point when you've been hurt by someone and the anger starts to dissolve and you're human side wants to forgive.  So the anger turns to missing and the missing cries out in your soul.  It grabs your lips and makes you remember the kisses.  It cups your bosom and makes them ache for his hands.  You squeeze your thighs together and you remember how he filled your soul.
So you go and sit and stare at your phone, fingers itching to call...but don't....don't.

That spell was too big for the both of you, neither were you ready for it.  The passion drew you in and some truths were forgotten under the name of lust. He hurt you because that's the cost of choosing to be blind and you got hurt because you were too eager to feel again...don't call....don't call.

I know you want to fix it, go slow, ask more questions, but you don't get a full summer day in the middle of winter.  That fire burnt exactly the way it was supposed to burn and now it's out.  Staring at embers seeing his body on yours and smoke clouding your senses trying to feel something that you cannot repeat.  You lost yourself in passion and it's OK, gather yourself...don't call...don't call.

He's a wolf smitten and bitten, crawled in a cave to hide his pride and lick his wounds, leave him be. He danced like a gypsy in your love and he gave too, caught up in your rapture that you poured out like free rounds at a bar. You can't blame him for the love you fed him.  His wounds will be permanent scars and he will never forget and maybe never look for happiness again because your body haunts his eyes, the wind trickles your perfume in his nose, every time he warms up from the cold he will remember your arms, when the thunder claps he will remember your voice keeping him calm.  But he will also remember your tears, every time it rains, let him have his torment...don't call..don't call.

Let your heart bleed, the bleeping will stop.  Let your body ache, the aching will stop.  But if you call you're going to hurt yourself again because that fire burned exactly the way it was supposed to burn and burned out the way it needed to burn out.  It was good, it was fun and now it's over.

Don't call...don't call.

Little Faces

Hate

Sometimes feels like it should be our fate.

In a a country among the greatest of nations

We refuse to have the simplest of conversations

We fight and shot all the time

While those in charge are sitting too high.

Our bullets screams and tears can't reach them

Because they hold the keys and know we will bend.

Bend to feed our families 

And bend to protect those little faces.

Faces that just want to play 

But the old teach them what to say.  

Breeding value into color

Ruining everyone's summer

Kids can't play together

Because we've taught them to think about who is better.

Laughs never get to touch the air

Smiles never get to be born

But we've guaranteed they will be torn

Over something people who are dead have sworn.

Beliefs that mean nothing now 

While we shout "get in the car now!"

Ripping them from a new Black friend

Ripping them from a new Asian Friend

Ripping them from a new Middle Eastern Friend

Ripping them from a new White friend

That rip in their minds will never end.

Who do we feed when we hate

Who do we feed when we shoot

Who do we feed when we stab

Who do we feed when we kick

Kill the stories

Kill the lessons

Kill the ripping

Open their minds

Open their hands

Open their eyes

Give them the power that was already theirs waiting for them

Watch the beauty that will happen, if we all forgot color.

The Prince's Crown

I kiss my mother's feet 
She has walked the valley of shadows
With those feet she has aldo stood stead fast
Waiting for her champion.

I kiss my father's hands
He has fought for his place in this world
Lost and won but built his life
He continue to protect his queen.

I kiss my sister's forehead
her knowledge and guidance
Patience and peace
She gives to me in times of need.

I kiss my brother's shoulder
A fellow knight and shield on my right arm
To fight and Strive
sharing in the spoils of our endeavours.

I touch the crown of my head, I see my Kingdom.
I look at my shoulders, I know the weight I will need to bear.
I look at my hands, I know the fight they will be asked for.
I look at my feet, I know the faith and patience they are capable of.

Made from strength t so I am strength
Made from love so I possess it's inner core
Descendant of gods as it were
To carry the torch and pass it on.

Her Rock

I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

don't do anything, don't change anything

She'll come back and it'llbe ok...just wait

Sit here, like the Rock of ages

Still and silent but smiling

Still and quiet...still, I'll be still.

For her.

Let the years pass, let the hopes pass, let the dreams pass

she is bigger

let the chances pass, let the offers pass, let the memories pass

she is worth more

I kneel covered in dust and stillness like a samurai in prayer

I will wait

She will come back, I know she will

Everyone changes their mind, right?

She will come back

she will remember that I'm here, she will.

Dust will turn to stone over my eyes

I will wait, she will feel it and come back

The ache in my knees bent for years will surge in her dreams.

The wind with carry messages from my dust to her ear

and tell her how much I miss her...right?

The vibration from my slow heartbeat 

will resound in her hands as she holds the steering wheel

The light will turn on from where she left dark and see me

and she will come back...right?

Altar

Your whirlwind into my life then you disappear

And Just when I'm picking up the pieces off the ground you bring an earthquake and swallow them up.

Just when my tears start to fall you bring a monsoon and drown me.

I look up to ask God why and you scorch the sky with a hurricane.

I seek comfort to regain strength and erupt a volcano and burn my inner piece with lava.

You strip me, you take from me, you leave me bare and broken

I didn't know looking in your eyes was going to be an apocalypse.

There's nothing I relied on still intact, 

Shield and spare lost in the waves...of you.

But it was what you required

It was what you needed

The love you were about to give needed me to walk away from everything before I met you.

You needed me exposed, you needed me vulnerable.

Something so powerful yet fragile at the same time.

But your request was simple...me and nothing else.

I let your whirlwind in, 

I nodded to your earthquake, 

I stepped aside for your monsoon and 

I sacrificed my peace in your fire

What you showed me you were giving me

The price is understood

The price is paid.

I am delivered.

We all feel

The pastor that asked his wife for a threesome
The con artist that finally asked for forgiveness
The bullet that finally got permission
At some point, we all feel

The hard man that finally broke into tears
The high school popular girl that gave away her crown
The rich lady that left her coat for the sleeping homeless man
At some point, we all give

The hunted meal finally clutched
The moment you chose to awaken your soul
The sleepless nights preparing
At some point, we all take

The dreams that never stop
Those moments we get lost in a hope
Sights that pull our groins and drown our tongues
At some point, we all want.

We build a world based on rules and borders
While we dream of being the lion and the eagle
We exchange pleasantries in our suits
When all we want is to sink our teeth in our passions

Living the daily fight between what you want and what you need
Set to carry equal value under free will in a world of rules.
We can define and organize and require.
In the end, we all feel.

Flutter

I've chased her for years
She changed her face, her color, her hair, her skin
Everytime I think I've found her, she dashes off
But each time instead happy giggles of a friendly chase
It's tears and heartbreak.

The Experiment

Lay in my hollow
Feel my emptiness swallow you
My darkness gouging your eyes
Silence screaming in your ears

My hands seep inside your veins, up your lungs...cold
Your gasp feeds me, your fright fills me
The terror in your eyes are my joy
This is my freedom, my prison.

I take when I want to give
Replaying the scene over and over,
Trying to get it right, the way she did it...to me.
She did it so perfectly an I must know how.

So I become her, over and over again.
Test after test, heart after heart, I plant the fatal stab
But I can't seem to walk away, guilt free..like she did.

Take 16, take, 30, take 42...action!!!
Flawless falling, but I can't walk away smiling...like she did, to me.
How did she do it, I must know.
Get a new test, make her fall and do it again.

Maybe I need to make them fall, faster, deeper, like I did?
Maybe I need to be their sun and moon, like she was to me?
Maybe they need to feel like they'd die, like I did?
Maybe the harder they fall, will make it easier to drop them and walk away?..like she did.

Maybe this is my Sisyphus. 
Forever trying to understand how she could walk away
From the one thing I breathed for, the one thing that truly made me feel alive.

Day after day, each boulder a new heart, a new test,
But never the answer, as I loop without knowing.
Looping, yet a forever thirst.
My prison, my experiment, my prison,...

Broken Cage

The overdone football comments when we spoke.  The bro laugh even when I didn't say anything really funny.  The questions where the answer was then seemingly obvious, but the staggered stare was the only thing mutual.  I rushed in late that morning, but it was just us still due to the weather.  Still getting settled I decided to hit the restroom before I hunker in for the day's lull. An empty corridor echoes my shoes along the walls, my own fans cheering me on in its reverb, today will be a good day I said. The clean bathroom with its cold stiff unused air ready to be the conveyer belt of relief for the day welcomed me with a nod as the door swung shut behind me, the urinal with its porcelain innocence, a standing throne in its own right awaited my service. 
The silence broke as the door swung open, a sound that shouldn't even mean anything on a normal basis, this morning sent a shiver down my spine as the only other person who could have walked in, was him.  Steps you should hear as someone walks to another urinal didn't echo as they should.  Instead, a shiver ran down my spine as without turning around I realised the steps were absent because he was now standing behind me. Shivers ran down my spine and over my ears and my skull, in surprise, in fright and in anticipation.  
A tension that I've been hiding for years poured down as I exhaled the smell of his cologne. I leaned my head down as his left hand calmly grasped the nape of my neck only to see my member that I had pulled out to urinate turned into a swollen pulsation.  He stepped in closer and his breath on the back of my neck now was like fire against the chill of my shivers still playing in anticipation like waiting turn in double dutch. 
My ignorance was present, so in fear of making a fool of myself I placed both hands on the wall over the top of the urinal like a criminal about to get searched by a cop.  The relief breath I just breathed from all this hiding now picked up speed as his right hand glided around my side and grabbed it.  Before he moved me, he leaned in and bit the open side of my neck with the mouth that laughed at my corny jokes and asked me obvious questions...now igniting a secret. Slowly gliding me with his right hand, he went faster. My head spun, and time slowed like a witch casting a spell.  I could feel the swirls in the air.  I open my eyes to see his gold college ring on his finger, shiney going back and forth contrasting against the porcelain white background.
An explosion of my body in that moment was like a tiger restrained for years made to live one way... made to love her... made to raise them, now feeling the bars break open and the hot pieces of iron bouncing off me in this baptism.  Now free to finally breathe and walk and talk, they way I want to, the way I've been dying to.  As I caught my breath, he let go and walked out, his shoes echoing down the hall until the door swung shut again leaving me to my silent kingdom and I stood there looking down at a new me out of breath and rebirthed.  A hunger allowed to be hungry, a thirst that has now been offered the drink, a new me walked back to my desk.

Run

Night, she doesn't flinch
That engine she's heard before.
Moving in this darkness as my fingers used to run through her hair.
Night's cold back echo's my engine as she sleeps.
Neglecting my rage and loud music as I shift into 5th.
The wind whipping the car like running through tall razor grass.
Again, I'm on the run.

Where?...this time
Anywhere but here...just like the last time
Anywhere from her...just like the last one
Torment at 95...on 95
I know I just need distance right now

The dark night, her hair on my chest, all the same now
seem to still wrap around me
I run away from her face but all I see...is...her face.
One hand on the wheel the other on the shifter
Gripped tight to affirm my decision 
But they may as well be her body
As each passing highway sign still reflects her face.

Faster, dodging cars and 18 wheelers
hoping to outrun my mind
Hoping to outrun her.

Telling myself that I can love again
Telling myself I can spark anew
But each time a new face comes close
All I want to do is turn and run.


MG

Mechanic

I need to fix her.
Her broken body, heart and mind piled at my feet like a dump truck that just left.
Broken pieces rolling off the mound of what was.
Her dust reaching for my shirt, my face, crawling up my nose.
I need to fix her.

I kneel down and start to sift
Broken screws and pieces of wood
Ripped bandages with dry blood
I find 4 bolts but 3 nuts
3 corners but 4 brackets, nothing matches anymore.
I need to fix her.

Eyes rusted shut from years of tears
As I swiped her dark hair from her face
Only her right cheek showed what's left of her innocence
I need to fix her.

Her pile laid there, the discarded heap
A position she seemed all too familiar with
While a slight wind moved pieces of her tattered black clothing
And her silence crying in my ear.
I need to fix her.

Scooped up like a pile of dirty clothes
I bring her inside and lay her on the table
Eyeing my toolbox and flipping on the light
I need to fix her.

Her mind: dead, her heart: dead her soul: dead
I reach for my toolbox
My broken hammer and rusted off screwdrivers
Perfect for the fix, I start to clean her other cheek
I need to fix her.

This Frankenstein built by the scourge of men
Now my charge to raise from the dead.
Maybe no one will want her
But she will be alive
Only time will tell what she will become...again.

Love's Death

I'd like to announce the death of Love

Our world has killed what Love is.

What we idolize of what's left of Love is not much 

Not much different from an Orbit of Broken planets

Crumbs and clues of what was a greatness never to be seen again.

Now roaming in modern minds with limits and clause and flaws

Ruined.

But what is Love now?

2 people stuck together by financial ties, so "they make it work"?

What about those who go to bed with one and dream about a love lost?

Is that where true love has to live like a sewer vagabond, scorned and hidden?

What about the dreamer scared to tell their true love?

Has love become a stifling  spell, never to be called on like BeetleJuice?

What about the damaged couple who had it, but too hurt to just be innocent again?

Is Love a show of weakness and has to be paid in full before it's returned?

"Fuck Love", "Love is all we need"..all said by our confused generation today.

Love doesn't care about title, position or color, it just was, is and will always be.

It is in fact that it is we who have grown too weak for Love.

So we broke it, we tore down its curves and gave it edges to fit our fears.

We beat it, we hid it and we threw it away

We prefer it in our dreams and our silence because it steps on our lives that we "need" to live.

So if I am forced to accept this broken fitment 

Then let me be the first to announce that Love is dead

Don't force it to exist as a crippled beggar on the street that we give a dollar to once in awhile.

Don't hide it from everyone only to stare at it with wanting when everyone is asleep.

We, weakened by this world, by its premises, its status quo, its or else's

We do not deserve to Love the way Love needs to be Loved

But I cannot just forget Love even if Love dies

For her face lives on that planet

She clings to its rocks, calling my name.

She Loves me still and I cannot Love her back

Life tore us apart and all I can do is stare when no one is looking

All I can do is lay in bed with my back turned thinking about her

All I can do is stay silent and make it work

All I can do act like it doesn't matter, when it fucking does.

Love isn't broken. I am Broken.  We are broken.

Dawn's Gift

I used to believe my life was going to be dark forever
Like a kid staring out the back window of his parents car as they drove through the cold night country roads.
No stars, no street lights.  Not even night eyes of the nocturnal wanted to be in my presence.
Black was my night, black was my day, black was my all
I grew used to the cold, I grew used to the air.
Until my dreams stopped, until my hope froze, until my inspiration died.
A frozen river of black tar was my home.

These streaks, these lines, these moving invaders
Welcoming themselves on my plain of darkness.
I quieted my mind and my heart as they had grown angry 
They  wanted to shout "why...why now....why me, you have forsaken me...keep your glory!"
But just as my hope froze , it unfroze as if it were only frozen for a second and not a millennium. 
My dreams turned from that river of frozen black tar to river of hope flowing to meet this Sunrise.
Those streaks and lines now playing with the curves of my river rushing...a dance as it were.

The light coming in was as stunning as my dark leaving was numbing.
All I can do now is stand in now as I stood before, but...
No longer frozen, no longer hidden
Recognized, placed and called
This time is mine now and I will own it as much as I owned the dark
I will let it go, I will let it come, whatever it may, I am ready.

AML

Fierce Is She

Dashed against the sand, left for dead
Stripped of her smile, stripped of her soul.
Sentenced to be pummelled by a fire of her demons.
All she could do was hide behind the rocks.
Her frail pale skin hugging the jagged black rock.

Like constant crashing waves,
This fire storm seemed never ending
Slowly heating the rocks
And they never stopped
She even believed this was all her life would ever be.

But while her tears fell and her tyrants blazed
Something started to happen.
The heated rock and her frail skin started to bond.
But more, the rock started to become her.

She opened her eyes and she thought the fires stopped but it wasn't
She stood up and thought there were gone but they werent
She was standing in their fire
And she no longer felt its burn.

A new blood flowed through her
Her frail skin now infused with the rock that she hid behind
Her eyes now filled with passion
And all the fire turned her hair red

She stands on a rock now
She is a rock
Her tyrants and demons no longer have power over her.
They saw and they fled.

A new her has been born now
With dreams and goals that she will hunt
Nothing will stop her like an arrow that has been loosed.
From years of being pulled back and held down,
She is new, she is ready, she is strong.

..."And though she be but little, she is fierce."

Red Air

Don't you see the way she wears her hair everyday around you
She wants you to run your hand in it and grab a fist full.

You hear her heels clicking slowly down the hallway?
She wants your to hear her and follow her 
To that empty conference room being remodelled.

All her dresses stop at the same length just peeking the side of her thigh
Begging for your hands to push her down on the table 
And slide your hands up.

She smiles and lowers her head every time she sees you.
Not from being shy.
But because she calls you master in her soul.

The red ribbon around her neck
Is more acceptable in the office than the black leather choker
engraved with your name that she keeps at home.

The red ribbon, the red heels, is not her sign of confidence
It is the power she wants to give you
Take her Soul, take her breath, take her hair, take her neck
Pull it, Squeeze it.

When you walk buy her desk, you have no idea how she stares.
She breathes you and you will never know
I swear she collects these snap shots of you 
Then goes home and releases to you.

The air we breathe is not the air she breathes 
You're her red, you're her master
You're everywhere for her
You're her red air.

AF 6/6/2015

War Lord

This is not a war of bombs

This is not a war of guns

Not of guns and not of sticks

This is war of stares and kissing

You called out my passion,

So come out and fight...

fight.

Fight for what you've earned

Stare deeper into my soul

You must, I need you to.

Hold my head and kiss me deeper

match my fire.

Warmonger.

All this time, well kept, hidden, defended.

You walked right passed the blockades

You walked right in as if you built the hidden trail 

You sat at my table behind my secret vale

And my spirit served you wine right in front of me without my permission

So fight.

You can't get my love that easy

So fight me and show me that your passion is worth every ounce of mine

Stare farther, kiss deeper

Let me feel your fire.

My stunned heart that you exist.

My exhale, that you stand looking at me, looking for me.

My finally, that you want me even if my want doesn't match yours

Ransom my tears of happiness for my loyalty

My spoils are yours.

Show no mercy

Pull me closer, kiss me till I can't breathe

Fight for this love that I need to give you

This love I thought would never be given ever again.

So fight.

This is not a war of bombs

This is not a war of guns, knives or of sticks

This is a war of giving love

For I did not know my love would be given

So fight me with your passion and free me of my suprise.

AF 6/4/2015

FREEDOM

I'm from a different country so I have to work twice as hard just to fit in
I'm black so I have to keep my hair cut properly at all a times
I'm big so when I have my hoodie on I have to accept when I small white lady crosses the street instead of saying hello as we pass each other on the sidewalk.
I drive a nice car so I can't put tints on because that's the final piece of probable cause.

When people are extra nice to me I can't get caught up in thinking if it was out of fear 
or surprise that I was actually a cool dude.
I do get to smile when your girlfriend looks at me like I'm what's been missing in her bedroom though.
Being stared at like a piece of meat has it's limits though.
When I'm in the cashier line behind a biker with "those kinds" of tatts, he puffs his chest up a little higher. "Remember to breathe bro".

Do you play basketball or football?  Oh you're Jamaican, do you smoke weed?
They'd be surprised to  know I have Aerosmith, Guns N Roses, Melissa Etheridge, Counting Crows and  Hootie and the Blowfish on repeat in my playlist along with Lil Wayne and Rick Ross and
My friday nights were spent listening to Shadow Stevens on American Top 40.

Freedom isnt free
Especially for "me".
So I smile and say hello, I say nice tatts man
I laugh and say no I've never smoked weed.
And I've put my size to use to help the weak.
I'm ok with those stares from your girlfriend though.

TOXIC

The only way to get her to leave is to make her see a demon
She will never accept responsibility for anything
She has to, she needs to... play the victim
She lives the life the sloth and pity, enabled more by her weak friends

I played into her hands, but I myself was less of who I am now
She was running from another demon, so I played hero 
As I was running from my own demons and this felt good
So we saved each other.

I awoke from my sleep and saw the remnants of my debacle
I weighed and measured myself and I was found wanting
She played along on this journey to be better
But in truth it was all a play, to start getting me to pity her
To never ask her to be better but yet applaud her dreams

That cycle has run its course, after years I realised that was all she had planned for me
Someone to hide behind while she spun a web of greatness only to opiate.
with no intent to make anything real except for the thought that she might.
I was carefully crafted to ensure her safety and happiness but to never ask anything of her.

Of course in showing that my eyes were open, 
She's perfectly prepared to enthrall me with guilt from my own mistakes
And because she's never actually done anything but weave dances of intent
I was left with nothing to battle with.

Whatever love there was in our finding each other
has now been boiled down to a thick glob of frustration, pity and resentment
Poisoned by my own weakness blindness and her need for my brokenness
Our jagged edges glued together but now its time to rip apart, but
The only way to get her to leave is to make her see a demon.