The Experiment

Lay in my hollow
Feel my emptiness swallow you
My darkness gouging your eyes
Silence screaming in your ears

My hands seep inside your veins, up your lungs...cold
Your gasp feeds me, your fright fills me
The terror in your eyes are my joy
This is my freedom, my prison.

I take when I want to give
Replaying the scene over and over,
Trying to get it right, the way she did it...to me.
She did it so perfectly an I must know how.

So I become her, over and over again.
Test after test, heart after heart, I plant the fatal stab
But I can't seem to walk away, guilt free..like she did.

Take 16, take, 30, take 42...action!!!
Flawless falling, but I can't walk away smiling...like she did, to me.
How did she do it, I must know.
Get a new test, make her fall and do it again.

Maybe I need to make them fall, faster, deeper, like I did?
Maybe I need to be their sun and moon, like she was to me?
Maybe they need to feel like they'd die, like I did?
Maybe the harder they fall, will make it easier to drop them and walk away?..like she did.

Maybe this is my Sisyphus. 
Forever trying to understand how she could walk away
From the one thing I breathed for, the one thing that truly made me feel alive.

Day after day, each boulder a new heart, a new test,
But never the answer, as I loop without knowing.
Looping, yet a forever thirst.
My prison, my experiment, my prison,...