Theft

 Do you know what love is?  It's being afraid to finish the lotion you gave me as a gift because it's the last thing I'll ever have from you that came from your hand.  It's fearing dementia because losing my memories of you might as well be the end of the world for me now. It's wanting to reach out to you everyday and knowing why I shouldn't . I'd rather see you happy, even though I'm the only one I want to see you happy with.  It's imagining me in your life everyday but knowing this daydream is the only luxury I'll ever have.  It's seeing every car that looks like yours and wondering if it's you coming to tell me we can finally be together and everyone in your life wants me there.  It's going through my email and seeing where I typed your name last and for split second thinking it was a new email form you.

Do you know what love is?  Love is torment.  Love is a hook in the bottom of my spine, wrenching and pulling me to find you.  It yanks me randomly away from work and I have to pause and hold my head down with the feeling of kissing you and missing you violently coursing through my body.  It's regret the weight of mountain chained to my neck as it hangs off a cliff. I fight with every muscle in my body to hold it up but wonder if I should just let it pull me over and dive after it in the biggest tragedy ever in mankind.  

Love is theft. Love is gang of dancing devils, prancing and stomping my heart bleeding out on the dirt.

Love is loneliness, the desert of all deserts, scorching solitude, silence that drives you mad and no end in any direction, while each gran of sand is your face.

Leave me alone love, you've only taken from me, I have nothing left.  Find someone else now.