JOURNEY

This is the path I must walk if I want to see change.
These are the decisions I must make if I want to see change.
No one can do it but me.
It is my responsibility.

I've been a slave to my old ways long enough.
I've been pleasing my mind and not respecting my body.
My body is my temple and I must clean it up.
The way is hard...BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE

It's ok to ask myself for more.
I no longer want my comfort zone as it has been my prison.
Fear has held me back, fear has held me down like a demon clutching me to its breast.
I need to break free, I must to break free, I will break free.

I will not listen anymore when my body says it's tired.
I will not listen anymore when my tongue desires what it will.
I will not stop at 10 when I know can do 14.
Sweat shall be my reward and I will love it.

I will wake up earlier and tell the sun it's late.
I will focus, I will dream and then build that bridge from dream to reality with every drop of my sweat.
I will feed my body what it needs and not what it wants.
I will be strong and show that strength with action and not desire.

I will no longer allow my mind to create excuses.
I will not longer credit those excuses because I am no longer weak.
I will be different from what my detractors expect.
I will no longer say no to myself.

This dream is mine.
The body I want will be mine because I deserve it.
I will work for it, earn it, own it and enjoy it.
Watch me own a smile that you cannot take away,
BECAUSE I WILL SUCCEED.

Waking Up

Years ago, I ran.

Years ago, I was proud.

Years ago, I was afraid.

Years ago, was my time.

Yesterday, I was still asleep.

Yesterday, I was still silent.

Yesterday, I was still hidden.

Yesterday, I was still afraid.

Today, the silence has drained me.

Today, I have no more sleep to find.

Today, the sun has found my cave.

Today, my fears have started to melt away.

Tomorrow, I will give up all I held on to.

Tomorrow, I will do without, for the one thing I want...need.

Tomorrow, I will pay the price of getting back that from which I ran,

For it will not be given freely anymore.

Tomorrow, I will go after the one person I've truly love.

Tomorrow, I will drop my sword and shield...and fight.

I'm waking up.

Well

I fell down this well
Landed on my back, now my body is broken.
Laying still in my pain, the moss and roots welcome me.
It's so dark, I can't tell if my eyes are open or closed.
You've climbed down to rescue me but I can't smile.

Don't pull my hand, 
My wrist is broken by people I've trusted before.
Don't sooth me with your words,
My ears are bleeding from all the lies I've heard before and I can't hear you.
Don't help me stand up,
My legs are shattered from running after loves that weren't mine in the end.
Don't hold my face to stare in my eyes,
They've been scorched by beautiful devils and burned shut.
Don't ask me for my heart,
It turned into a bag of tar and gravel after all the betrayals.
Don't wipe the tears from my seared face.
They're all I have left.
Don't try to hold me, 
The waves of memory and anger hurt more than my snapped spine.

This well is quiet,
You came down to save me, 
But you've no more power than the moss and roots growing over me.
This well is dark, 
Dark enough to blot out what they did to me.
This well is cold,
Cold enough to freeze me in time and hide me from anymore hurt.

Climb out, cover the well and walk away.

10-1-2012