Friday, June 28, 2024

To Defy

 I will not give you a cup of water

I will drown you in my ocean


I will not lift your sails

I will fly you to another galaxy


I will not be a ray of sunshine

I will make you reappear in the center of the sun


I will not touch you

I will swallow you whole


I will not make you feel good

I will make your body explode like a falling star


I will not hold your hand

I will hold your heart


I will not catch you

You will be cradled in my love


I will not look into your eyes

I will search your soul, and find you


I will not talk to you

Our souls use another language


I will not leave you

I exist in the past, the present, the future, and after


You are mine

I will fight all the gods for you






After the Storm

 I swung, I swung again. I ducked, I rolled, I blocked, I jumped, I ran and swung again.  My shield broke in half a long time ago so I get hit with their claws and tails.  Their fire catches me sometimes. I jump, I swing.  Sometimes my sword finds them but they keep coming.  The air is thick with white smoke, it's windy, it's rainy.  Sometimes I slip and their demonic growl gets louder.  I'm tired, my arms are tired, my legs are tired, my soul is tired.  

Fighting your inner demons can immerse you away from life, but I didn't realize how I was losing time, losing me.  On the outside I was just existing to the world.  They saw me talking, walking, smiling, working.  On the inside, I was in a desolate dark valley fighting my demons.  I don't know who was winning, I just...kept...going. Why keep fighting I thought sometimes, just give up, let them come and consume me and turn me into one of them.  That's what they want.  But why didn't I want that, they kept winning every  time, or, I let them win.  Did I secretly want what they wanted?  But why am I fighting them with everything inside me.  Why do I keep swinging?  What is it that I feel deep down that this...is.. not.. who... I... am. 

Then out of the blue, I see you, standing there. Your dark hair flowing in the smoke, standing peacefully, calmly.  You stretch your hand out to me and simply say "come".  I say I need to fight them off to make my way to you.  But you simply say, they fight me because I fight them. That moment spun my whole being around.  With an immediate trust overwhelming me, I look down at my arms, I drop the half broken shield and my tattered sword. The growls of my eternal demons, echoed away and stopped.  I look back up to you and your hand is still stretched out, and you say again, "come, I see you, I take you as you are."  My feet moved towards you before I even realized.  I wondered how you were in this same place as I am, then I realized, you were fighting your own demons too and you found out how to make them stop.

You showed me I don't need to fight my demons, and I don't need to let them win them either.  My depth was etched by them, my passion was burned in by them, my intensity was clawed in with every strike.  The beauty of who I am was from them. The same thing happened to you and you found me, because I was the only person who could ever see you too.  The beauty in us is recognized by the other on a frequency irrepeatable, signatured only for us.  You woke up before I did and you came and saved me, because I am for you and you are for me.  We needed to be broken, burnt and built this way.  This was part of how we were going to recognize each other, the only way.  This valley is now our home, our demons, play as pets. 



Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Eternal Battle

 She is fire, he is water.

She burns, he drowns.

She roars, he waves.

Powers unmatched.

They both are gateways to something different.

Fully consumed in their elements, they get each other's depth and power.

... Infinite.

Their meeting was therefore inevitable.

Drawn to each other by a course of immense destruction and unrivalled beauty, 

The most powerful fire element, now meets the most powerful water element.

A battle for the ages.

The only witnesses, their hands, their lips, their skin

No one else will understand.

She boiled his oceans but only so much 

He doused her flames, but only a little

The went back and forth for centuries, neither seeming to win.

His depth was infinite, her flames  had no end.

What they could and did do, was dance, kiss, hold hands, lay on each other.

In each other, they found their match.

In each other they found something no else could ever understand.

This knowledge made them rage on even more,

Showing everyone else not to dare.

Only her flames took him out of his solitude

Only his seas could pull her in from her pain

In each other, they found each other.

This fusion of fire and water was an eternal reaction.

In that center where they touched, a violent reaction of erupting water and steam, which only they could contain, or so it looked from the outside.

But even in them, their bodies erupted, reacting to each other.

Their kiss was never enough.

Their interlocked fingers held each other's world

Their skin on each other's bewildered them to its familiarity,

despite their origins... despite it all.

They will forever engulf each other.

They will forever see forever in each other's eyes.

No matter what the world says.





Saturday, June 22, 2024

This Is Not Love

 Comets bursting through our chests racing towards each other

This is not love

Our kiss is centuries old and touches the deepest ocean floor

This is not love

Only fools understand it, only the crazy see it

This is not love

I forgot how lived before I met you, and I can't go back.

This is not love

The home we never had, but knew we had to find.

This is not love

This world says no, your life says no.

This is not love

A craven crave, never quenched, no mater how hard I kiss you

This is not love

Always wanting you near, never wanting you to leave.

This is not love

How can my body feel like half a body ever since we touched

This is not love

Our start was a return, our return was just half the story

This is not love

Love starts, grows and at some point ends

This is not love

This is Comet fire, this is Comet Speed, this is Comet force

This is not love

If this is love, I loved you the day our eyes met and everyday since has been something bigger

This is not love

It has taken me and it has opened you.

This is not love

Only the cosmos and our kiss know what this is

This is not love