Run

Night, she doesn't flinch
That engine she's heard before.
Moving in this darkness as my fingers used to run through her hair.
Night's cold back echo's my engine as she sleeps.
Neglecting my rage and loud music as I shift into 5th.
The wind whipping the car like running through tall razor grass.
Again, I'm on the run.

Where?...this time
Anywhere but here...just like the last time
Anywhere from her...just like the last one
Torment at 95...on 95
I know I just need distance right now

The dark night, her hair on my chest, all the same now
seem to still wrap around me
I run away from her face but all I see...is...her face.
One hand on the wheel the other on the shifter
Gripped tight to affirm my decision 
But they may as well be her body
As each passing highway sign still reflects her face.

Faster, dodging cars and 18 wheelers
hoping to outrun my mind
Hoping to outrun her.

Telling myself that I can love again
Telling myself I can spark anew
But each time a new face comes close
All I want to do is turn and run.


MG

Mechanic

I need to fix her.
Her broken body, heart and mind piled at my feet like a dump truck that just left.
Broken pieces rolling off the mound of what was.
Her dust reaching for my shirt, my face, crawling up my nose.
I need to fix her.

I kneel down and start to sift
Broken screws and pieces of wood
Ripped bandages with dry blood
I find 4 bolts but 3 nuts
3 corners but 4 brackets, nothing matches anymore.
I need to fix her.

Eyes rusted shut from years of tears
As I swiped her dark hair from her face
Only her right cheek showed what's left of her innocence
I need to fix her.

Her pile laid there, the discarded heap
A position she seemed all too familiar with
While a slight wind moved pieces of her tattered black clothing
And her silence crying in my ear.
I need to fix her.

Scooped up like a pile of dirty clothes
I bring her inside and lay her on the table
Eyeing my toolbox and flipping on the light
I need to fix her.

Her mind: dead, her heart: dead her soul: dead
I reach for my toolbox
My broken hammer and rusted off screwdrivers
Perfect for the fix, I start to clean her other cheek
I need to fix her.

This Frankenstein built by the scourge of men
Now my charge to raise from the dead.
Maybe no one will want her
But she will be alive
Only time will tell what she will become...again.

Love's Death

I'd like to announce the death of Love

Our world has killed what Love is.

What we idolize of what's left of Love is not much 

Not much different from an Orbit of Broken planets

Crumbs and clues of what was a greatness never to be seen again.

Now roaming in modern minds with limits and clause and flaws

Ruined.

But what is Love now?

2 people stuck together by financial ties, so "they make it work"?

What about those who go to bed with one and dream about a love lost?

Is that where true love has to live like a sewer vagabond, scorned and hidden?

What about the dreamer scared to tell their true love?

Has love become a stifling  spell, never to be called on like BeetleJuice?

What about the damaged couple who had it, but too hurt to just be innocent again?

Is Love a show of weakness and has to be paid in full before it's returned?

"Fuck Love", "Love is all we need"..all said by our confused generation today.

Love doesn't care about title, position or color, it just was, is and will always be.

It is in fact that it is we who have grown too weak for Love.

So we broke it, we tore down its curves and gave it edges to fit our fears.

We beat it, we hid it and we threw it away

We prefer it in our dreams and our silence because it steps on our lives that we "need" to live.

So if I am forced to accept this broken fitment 

Then let me be the first to announce that Love is dead

Don't force it to exist as a crippled beggar on the street that we give a dollar to once in awhile.

Don't hide it from everyone only to stare at it with wanting when everyone is asleep.

We, weakened by this world, by its premises, its status quo, its or else's

We do not deserve to Love the way Love needs to be Loved

But I cannot just forget Love even if Love dies

For her face lives on that planet

She clings to its rocks, calling my name.

She Loves me still and I cannot Love her back

Life tore us apart and all I can do is stare when no one is looking

All I can do is lay in bed with my back turned thinking about her

All I can do is stay silent and make it work

All I can do act like it doesn't matter, when it fucking does.

Love isn't broken. I am Broken.  We are broken.

Dawn's Gift

I used to believe my life was going to be dark forever
Like a kid staring out the back window of his parents car as they drove through the cold night country roads.
No stars, no street lights.  Not even night eyes of the nocturnal wanted to be in my presence.
Black was my night, black was my day, black was my all
I grew used to the cold, I grew used to the air.
Until my dreams stopped, until my hope froze, until my inspiration died.
A frozen river of black tar was my home.

These streaks, these lines, these moving invaders
Welcoming themselves on my plain of darkness.
I quieted my mind and my heart as they had grown angry 
They  wanted to shout "why...why now....why me, you have forsaken me...keep your glory!"
But just as my hope froze , it unfroze as if it were only frozen for a second and not a millennium. 
My dreams turned from that river of frozen black tar to river of hope flowing to meet this Sunrise.
Those streaks and lines now playing with the curves of my river rushing...a dance as it were.

The light coming in was as stunning as my dark leaving was numbing.
All I can do now is stand in now as I stood before, but...
No longer frozen, no longer hidden
Recognized, placed and called
This time is mine now and I will own it as much as I owned the dark
I will let it go, I will let it come, whatever it may, I am ready.

AML

Fierce Is She

Dashed against the sand, left for dead
Stripped of her smile, stripped of her soul.
Sentenced to be pummelled by a fire of her demons.
All she could do was hide behind the rocks.
Her frail pale skin hugging the jagged black rock.

Like constant crashing waves,
This fire storm seemed never ending
Slowly heating the rocks
And they never stopped
She even believed this was all her life would ever be.

But while her tears fell and her tyrants blazed
Something started to happen.
The heated rock and her frail skin started to bond.
But more, the rock started to become her.

She opened her eyes and she thought the fires stopped but it wasn't
She stood up and thought there were gone but they werent
She was standing in their fire
And she no longer felt its burn.

A new blood flowed through her
Her frail skin now infused with the rock that she hid behind
Her eyes now filled with passion
And all the fire turned her hair red

She stands on a rock now
She is a rock
Her tyrants and demons no longer have power over her.
They saw and they fled.

A new her has been born now
With dreams and goals that she will hunt
Nothing will stop her like an arrow that has been loosed.
From years of being pulled back and held down,
She is new, she is ready, she is strong.

..."And though she be but little, she is fierce."

Red Air

Don't you see the way she wears her hair everyday around you
She wants you to run your hand in it and grab a fist full.

You hear her heels clicking slowly down the hallway?
She wants your to hear her and follow her 
To that empty conference room being remodelled.

All her dresses stop at the same length just peeking the side of her thigh
Begging for your hands to push her down on the table 
And slide your hands up.

She smiles and lowers her head every time she sees you.
Not from being shy.
But because she calls you master in her soul.

The red ribbon around her neck
Is more acceptable in the office than the black leather choker
engraved with your name that she keeps at home.

The red ribbon, the red heels, is not her sign of confidence
It is the power she wants to give you
Take her Soul, take her breath, take her hair, take her neck
Pull it, Squeeze it.

When you walk buy her desk, you have no idea how she stares.
She breathes you and you will never know
I swear she collects these snap shots of you 
Then goes home and releases to you.

The air we breathe is not the air she breathes 
You're her red, you're her master
You're everywhere for her
You're her red air.

AF 6/6/2015

War Lord

This is not a war of bombs

This is not a war of guns

Not of guns and not of sticks

This is war of stares and kissing

You called out my passion,

So come out and fight...

fight.

Fight for what you've earned

Stare deeper into my soul

You must, I need you to.

Hold my head and kiss me deeper

match my fire.

Warmonger.

All this time, well kept, hidden, defended.

You walked right passed the blockades

You walked right in as if you built the hidden trail 

You sat at my table behind my secret vale

And my spirit served you wine right in front of me without my permission

So fight.

You can't get my love that easy

So fight me and show me that your passion is worth every ounce of mine

Stare farther, kiss deeper

Let me feel your fire.

My stunned heart that you exist.

My exhale, that you stand looking at me, looking for me.

My finally, that you want me even if my want doesn't match yours

Ransom my tears of happiness for my loyalty

My spoils are yours.

Show no mercy

Pull me closer, kiss me till I can't breathe

Fight for this love that I need to give you

This love I thought would never be given ever again.

So fight.

This is not a war of bombs

This is not a war of guns, knives or of sticks

This is a war of giving love

For I did not know my love would be given

So fight me with your passion and free me of my suprise.

AF 6/4/2015

FREEDOM

I'm from a different country so I have to work twice as hard just to fit in
I'm black so I have to keep my hair cut properly at all a times
I'm big so when I have my hoodie on I have to accept when I small white lady crosses the street instead of saying hello as we pass each other on the sidewalk.
I drive a nice car so I can't put tints on because that's the final piece of probable cause.

When people are extra nice to me I can't get caught up in thinking if it was out of fear 
or surprise that I was actually a cool dude.
I do get to smile when your girlfriend looks at me like I'm what's been missing in her bedroom though.
Being stared at like a piece of meat has it's limits though.
When I'm in the cashier line behind a biker with "those kinds" of tatts, he puffs his chest up a little higher. "Remember to breathe bro".

Do you play basketball or football?  Oh you're Jamaican, do you smoke weed?
They'd be surprised to  know I have Aerosmith, Guns N Roses, Melissa Etheridge, Counting Crows and  Hootie and the Blowfish on repeat in my playlist along with Lil Wayne and Rick Ross and
My friday nights were spent listening to Shadow Stevens on American Top 40.

Freedom isnt free
Especially for "me".
So I smile and say hello, I say nice tatts man
I laugh and say no I've never smoked weed.
And I've put my size to use to help the weak.
I'm ok with those stares from your girlfriend though.

TOXIC

The only way to get her to leave is to make her see a demon
She will never accept responsibility for anything
She has to, she needs to... play the victim
She lives the life the sloth and pity, enabled more by her weak friends

I played into her hands, but I myself was less of who I am now
She was running from another demon, so I played hero 
As I was running from my own demons and this felt good
So we saved each other.

I awoke from my sleep and saw the remnants of my debacle
I weighed and measured myself and I was found wanting
She played along on this journey to be better
But in truth it was all a play, to start getting me to pity her
To never ask her to be better but yet applaud her dreams

That cycle has run its course, after years I realised that was all she had planned for me
Someone to hide behind while she spun a web of greatness only to opiate.
with no intent to make anything real except for the thought that she might.
I was carefully crafted to ensure her safety and happiness but to never ask anything of her.

Of course in showing that my eyes were open, 
She's perfectly prepared to enthrall me with guilt from my own mistakes
And because she's never actually done anything but weave dances of intent
I was left with nothing to battle with.

Whatever love there was in our finding each other
has now been boiled down to a thick glob of frustration, pity and resentment
Poisoned by my own weakness blindness and her need for my brokenness
Our jagged edges glued together but now its time to rip apart, but
The only way to get her to leave is to make her see a demon.

I Finally Went A Day Without Thinking About You

I finally went a day without thinking about you.
A breath was a breath and it didn't hurt to breathe
A smile from a stranger didn't remind me of yours
And the Sun was just light and not torture of another day without you.

I finally went a day without thinking about you.
I ate and I was only hungry, for food.
I walked to my car and I didn't hear your heels clicking beside me.
I saw a happy couple and I was actually happy for them.

Yesterday my right arm didn't need hugging.
I ran my own hand over my head and didn't need to imagine yours doing it.
I brushed my teeth without gazing.
And it didn't bother me that I only washed up one dinner plate.

I walked a little taller yesterday, propped up by hope it seems.
But I didn't realise until today when I was doing all these things again.
Yesterday I finally went a day without thinking about you
Today I wonder what else will I notice, as I come back...to me.